Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
