That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she looked like the before picture.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
