take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
