cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
