It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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