at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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