My girlfriend figured out who you are.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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