no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
