theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
