also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
