How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
