End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
