id be glad to
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
How does one acquire holy water?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
