Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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