help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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