I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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