my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
