I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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