Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
