when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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