I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
no you cant smoke seaweed
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
