I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
