I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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