and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
foreskin is a definite game changer
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
