I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
