call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
