can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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