I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
