New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
