are you still at the devil's house?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
