he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
