Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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