My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
