I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
