man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
