Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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