we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
