I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
