your parents love me but you hate me
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
