Where is the hickey?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
