So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
