if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
