I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
