I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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