Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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