Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
