Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
