No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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