I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Everclear isn't food dammit
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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