Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
