Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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