Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
